Flashbacks and Fastforwarding

I found these pics on one of the blogs I follow. I wasn't sure if I wanted to laugh my head off or break down and cry.
These were taken just over a year ago! I was madly in love with Gregory. Kyli was swiftly falling for Michael, let's not even discuss the other people in the picture. We had no idea what was going to hit us! I didn't really have the ability to look a year into the future, and even if you told me all the things I was going to go through I wouldn't have believed you.

I went to a Maeser choir concert a few days ago. I sat with Gregory's family and I turned to him and said, "Does it freak you out to realize that this was us just five months ago?" ......little bit.
At graduation I couldn't have told you that I would be working in the deli just three weeks later. I couldn't have told you that I was going that I was going to be on one of the best ballroom companies in the nation just three months later. I couldn't have told you that I was going to really enjoy college. I couldn't have told you that I was going to slowly fall away and rarely see some of the people I considered my best friends. These images make up my life now.

The deli, school, and dance. (Not exactly in that order!) That is my life at the moment, but I'm mostly okay with that. My situation gives me so many directions that I can take my future.

So what is my future going to bring.  Well if past experience means anything I'm not going to be certain of anything until I get there.  I will go back to UVU next semester and continue with the dance.  I'm not sure where my job life is going to take me, but even if I can't get out of the deli I'll deal with it.  The part of my life that I'm starting to worry about is this summer.  I have so many options.

Will I simply work full time?

Will I go to school part time and get ahead in my degrees?

Will I go with my honors group and spend five weeks in London studying English, Shakespeare, and Legacies?

And perhaps my biggest question? Should I go on a mission?








Lots of options. Lots of changing. Lots of growing. Anyway I chose I won't be the same a year from now.

Who Am I?

I am a UVU student.
I am the girl who really enjoys the schools sweet potato fries.
I am the girl who spends at least half of her nights cleaning the Wal-mart deli.
I am the girl who doesn't have a boy friend but sees her ex almost every day.
I am the girl who wears skirts to school rather than jeans.
I am the girl that enjoys going to the bank because that cute boy knows who she is.
I am the girl who never falls asleep until around one in the morning.
I am the girl who is never home for dinner but misses it.
I am the girl that will go to school early to study and maybe stop by her high school on the way to spend a half an hour with some old friends.
I am the girl that takes a trip to heaven every time she gets a back rub.
I am the girl who never stops dancing.
I am the girl who is only 114 pounds but knows she is okay because the healthy weight for someone her age, height, and gender is between 111 and 140 pounds
I am the girl who hates riding the bus because the picture of a stick figure throwing up makes her sick to her stomach.
I am the girl who is desperate to get back into drama
I am the girl that hasn't started filling out mission papers because she's taking her time to really think about it and because she can't go until the summer anyway.
I am the girl that has no fashion sense, but really couldn't care less because cute clothes are too expensive.
I am the girl who still feels nervous over a 40 question multiple choice test after she has studied for it.
I am the girl that loves deep.
I am the girl that is willing to hold you as you cry so you know that somebody cares.
I am not the girl that I was 6 months ago.
I am more confident then that girl.
I am more able to take care of herself.
I am not a girl that is easily hurt.
I am not a girl that is easily used.
I am not the girl who will base herself off of what others think she should be
I am who I am and I will decide when I want to change.

Seriously my theme song at the moment....

Can't say it any better than this. Once again music speaks louder that my normal speech.

A Small Love For Old Music.

Yes I am posting another song. This song is by one of my favorite artists and it was played on one of my stations recently and I thought I'd share a little piece of the myself.

A day in the life of a deli girl

Okay so the title isn't exactly accurate. It should be a night in the life of a deli girl. I work the mid-day/ night shift.
Overall I love my job most of the time. Hey, who can complain about $8.90 an hour with no previous employment (: Plus people at Walmart have serious personality. In a months time I have made friends from three different departments.
I am scheduled to work four times a week from two in the afternoon until eleven at night. I slice meat, cheese, fry food, serve the constant flow of customers, and then at nine shut down and start cleaning.....ya the one down side to my job is that I never leave by eleven. Most of the time I leave around one in the morning. People that work day shift leave when they are scheduled to leave. Night shift people can't leave until the job is done or the piss off management and the morning peeps. As long as I don't go over 40 hours a week nobody cares...except for maybe my mother and myself.
I've never been a late night person. When I was in high school it was rare for me to stay up past midnight, now between work and Michael I haven't been to bed before 1:30 all summer. (Michael likes to have early morning conversations with me because apparently I'm really funny when I'm exhausted and don't have a filter.) I'm growing used to the time switch, so I'm not as bad as I used to be.

What I Need In a Nutshell

I had a friend ask me what I wanted the other day. I can't really seem to explain that to anyone including myself. I do know that I want to make that special person feel loved. All I want is a person that can take care of me and that will take me despite my many faults. Okay so that's not all I want but that's what I need. .. let me put it like this

21 Things About Love

Romance is like slug bug (yes I know it's a wacky analogy. I'm a wacky girl). Everyone plays it differently. Here's how I like to play.
#1-Most girls want chocolate. I would rather a bouquet of crazy daisies.
#2- Dates don't need to cost a lot of money. In fact it's slightly awkward when they are.
#3-Short and sweet is just as good as the wild and crazy when you really love your partner. Sometimes it's even better.
#4- There is the emotion to love and then there is the capacity to love. Your capacity grows with time and experience. You can't love past your capacity.
#5- True love isn't achieved until the emotion love and the capacity to love grow together.
#6- You can never truly love a person that doesn't love you back. Reciprocation is essential.
#7- Old vibes create problems. Be careful who you give your heart to. You will always be connected weather you like it or not.
#8- You are not a bad person if you date your best friends ex unless you are doing it out of vengeance. Vengeance will hurt all three of you.
#9- Sex is for marriage period.
#10- Love doesn't need to be complicated. If it is complicated fix it!
#11- Talk. Words help create a strong foundation.
#12- The words I love you are sacred. Don't say them unless you mean them.
#13- to run out screaming is to be a coward. You can't fix a problem when you run away from them.
#14- It takes two to Tango. It also takes two to create an argument. It also takes two to love.
#15- One person can't always carry the relationship. You need to be equal partners. Both people need to take part in decisions.
#16- Don't do anything you aren't ready for.
#17-It's okay to take it slow.
#18- It's okay to think of yourself every once in a while. If you don't you're going to explode eventually or grow to resent the person you love.
#19- The words "Don't worry about it" does not stop me from worrying. It just tells me that there's something to worry about.
#20- Honesty is essential.
#21- Trust is also essential.
To tie in the last two when you're not in a serious relationship maybe you don't need to know every tiny detail. They will tell you when they are ready to tell you. Don't let it put a wedge in-between you even if it's a pain. Being pushy doesn't bring them closer it pushes them away. I might need to work on this myself....